No means no. Seriously guys, it’s not that complicated.
This week, I spoke to a friend whose girlfriend recently broke up with him. He was telling me how much the breakup upset him. Fair enough. They had been friends for several months and dating for a few, and it was tough for him when she ended it.
Eventually the details came to light. My friend admitted that he’s been angry at his ex since the breakup. He said it was because he felt she ended the relationship for the “wrong reasons.” (Anyone else hear alarm bells at this point?) He said he was angry at her because, throughout the time they spent dating, she told him more than once that she was falling in love with him, but when she broke up with him she said that it was because she wasn’t ready for a relationship. He thought she was wrong and cruel to be so “contradictory.”
Let’s just get one thing clear right fucking now: THIS IS BULLSHIT.
To all men who are romantically/sexually interested in women:
No woman owes you an explanation for not wanting to date you anymore. Yes, depending on the situation an explanation might be considered courteous, but an explanation is never owed to you. Nor is it your right to decide what constitutes an “acceptable” explanation.
“I don’t want to date you anymore” means exactly what it says. It doesn’t matter why. It doesn’t matter what she said a year ago, or a month ago, or yesterday. Your pride and/or curiosity are not good enough reasons to demand elaboration. If a woman wants to end a romantic and/or sexual relationship with you, THAT IS ALL YOU SHOULD FUCKING NEED TO KNOW and you need to BACK THE FUCK OFF and not whine about how her reasons “aren’t good enough.” GUESS WHAT - SHE DOESN’T NEED A REASON. And if she does have one, it’s not your inalienable right to know what it is. If she wants to tell you, that’s cool. But then it is NOT okay for you to get angry at her because her reason isn’t “good enough” for you. It’s okay for you to feel angry because the relationship ended, or because of the circumstances, or because of something legitimately bad that she may have done to you - but a woman not wanting to be with you anymore and not massaging your ego on her way out the door IS NOT A LEGITIMATE REASON TO PAINT HER AS A VILLAIN.